You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize