My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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