Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
