we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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