A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
