His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
