If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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