my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
accomplished twins. life is a go
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
