Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
