Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
