He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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