I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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