I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
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I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
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As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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