Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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