Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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