I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
