He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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