We're facebook friends in real life
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
