my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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