I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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