just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
