Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
