Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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