Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
