maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
