Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
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