you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
operation have a gay friend backfired
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did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
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I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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