Do vagina's smell?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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