went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.