The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
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I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
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He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.