Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
