I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
