my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
