I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
