There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize