I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
