paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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