I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
