Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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