He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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