She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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