Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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