Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I need moral support for this bender
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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