I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
