Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
