I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
my shit smells like andre
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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