Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she looked like the before picture.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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