She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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