I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
