Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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