i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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