Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
