Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I have fence marks all over my body
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
