I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
