Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
