The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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