My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
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