Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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