So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
