no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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